Apparently Britney will have to wait, too.

Realizing that everything I do is in my control made me realize that everything I don't do is out of my control, as long as I make a conscious choice about what I do or don't. It's really difficult to stand up for your beliefs, especially when your beliefs are more like a viscous liquid, changing, rather than carved in stone. I don't know what my beliefs are. I like the idea of a higher power. It's comforting to know that someone is looking out for me. But then again, how do I know that he/she/it is doing so? With all the terrible things that happen in this world, how can a perfect being that should provide protection neglect that duty? And it seems that this so-called omnipotent being is pretty imperfect, truth be told.

I think my personal truth is that power resides in earthly beings. In you and me, hell, even an ear of corn holds power, if you think about it. The power to feed another living thing. So what's the reason? The big why we're here? I'm not talking about any new-agey shit like 'The Secret'. That stuff is horse-shit. Mainly because it's all about improving your own life. Where's the good in that? Help your fellow living things. Fuck doing stuff for yourself. I guess the point is to do it right. Live life in the correct manner. And I suppose the way you know whether or not you're doing that is by judging yourself. I judge other people all the time. But to sit down and take inventory of myself is an arduous task. I mean, who wants to do that only to determine that they suck at life? But, that's the thing, I don't think I suck at life. I think I do an alright job of living my life. I make mistakes, and I make bad choices. That's okay. I know what I need to do, and knowing is half the battle, right?