Apparently there aren't enough real things to annoy me.

Listen, myspace. When I log onto your terribly-addictive website, I do not want to google something. If I wanted to google something, I would probably fucking google it. But you have deemed it necessary to initially insert my cursor into the search field at the top of the page. Meaning that I have to click elsewhere on the webpage in order to scroll down with my keyboard arrows. This may seem like a minor thing, and trust me, in the grand scheme of things, it is more minor than minor. However, it's annoying to go to a website that has millions of users and have this stupid thing happen as soon as the goddamn page loads. Unfortunately, it's not enough of an annoyance to keep me away.

Absolutely nothin'.

Sarah Plain and Tall may be right when she says that Barack's plan in Iraq is a "white flag of surrender". But I prefer it to John McCain's plan of "SOMEONE MAKE VIKKTURYS HAPPEN". I'm just sayin'. Besides, what is it good for, really?

Or just call me to talk.

Found in Charlotte. I'm glad I don't live in Charlotte.

Agreed.

Source

Hay-soos Christ-O.

From CNN.com:

If the battle for the Democratic presidential nomination is almost over, Clinton isn't acting like it.

"I'm going to make [my case] until we have a nominee, but we're not going to have one today, and we're not going to have one tomorrow and we're not going to have one the next day," Clinton said Monday in Kentucky.

She argues that she leads in the popular vote. "Right now, more people have voted for me than have voted for my opponent," she said. "More people have voted for me than for anybody ever running for president before. So we have a very close contest."

But her argument is debatable. For Clinton to claim such a lead, primary states but not caucus states -- which Obama mostly won -- would only be counted, plus the popular vote totals in Florida and Michigan.

Florida and Michigan were stripped of their delegates for scheduling their primaries too early, in violation of Democratic Party rules. Obama's name wasn't on the Michigan ballot, and he received no votes in that state's contest.

Clinton also argues that she's won the states that she contends would stack up stronger against McCain in the general election.

"The states I've won total 300 electoral votes. If we had the same rules as the Republicans, I would be nominee right now," she said. "We have different rules, so what we've got to figure out is who can win 270 electoral votes. My opponent has won states totaling 217 electoral votes."

Is Hillary fucking retarded? It would make more sense for her to flush the money down an actual toilet. Does she understand that Republicans/Racists are the only ones voting for her? Does she care?

This is probably the greatest 6 minutes of television ever made:



And the Douche-Off at the end isn't too bad either.

From freerice.com today.

fop means:
dandy

magnum means:
large wine bottle

flense means:
strip blubber from

All in all, a very fun vocabulary day.

There are too many pictures.

And not enough words on my blog. But this is probably the greatest lolcat I've ever seen.



I didn't think it was possible to make lolcats any geekier. I was wrong. As it's usually the case, a Star Wars reference will exponentially increase your nerdiness.

Sadly this is how I spend my time.

Yesterday at work, I made these lolcats instead of doing anything that could be considered productive.

Go me.

Oh craigslist, you crack me up so much.

Free Ramen

Reply to: sale-560997606@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-02, 7:23PM EST

I just bought a 12 pack of ramen noodles, chicken flavored and I do not like this brand. The brand is Top Ramen and it just doesn't taste like the brand I like. I don't want to just throw food away, so I am willing to give away the 10 sealed packages that are left in the box. Let me know if you are interested, first come first serve. If you don't want all 10 thats fine as well.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 560997606

Wasting time is far too enjoyable.

Friend of a friend wrote this survey. Pretty funny shit.

The best tasting M&M color is...
red.

Who's outlook on life needs the most adjustment — Oscar the Grouch or Eeyore?
Eeyore is a little bitch.

Funyuns are...
stinky.

Name one reality TV personality who needs a good cock-punching.
Ryan Seacrest. I know he's a host, but seriously, who's gonna argue with that?

Kansas or Boston?
Boston.

Name someone or something who you've thrown up on?
My own sweater.

Slush puppies or Icees?
Icees.

Vampire or Zombie movies?
Zombie.

Worse to be surrounded by...hippies or hipsters?
One is smelly and one just sucks. Hipsters.

The one drink that turns me into a heinous bitch/ ornery douchebag is...
Tequila.

How many robot sluts attack your friend request inbox per day?
Zero.

Better pet — E.T or Gizmo (or any other mogwai)?
E.T.

Would you rather do Jodie Foster in Maverick or in Nell?
Umm, neither, but if I were a dude. . . Maverick. And I'd definitely do Mel Gibson in Maverick. That was before he turned anti-semitic and crazy.

Worst public bathroom you've had to endure?
Churchill's "Pub" in Miami.

Favorite terrible movie?
Some would argue that all the movies I like are terrible, but I think I'll go with 50 First Dates.

Worst place you've woken up?
Ugh. On the floor, freezing cold. This has happened more than once.

Weirdest food item consumed from a gas station?
I ate a BLT one time. It was not good.

Dane Cook...
used to be funny.

Where were you when Janet Jackson sent a nation into a panic at the site of an expose part of the human anatomy?
Asleep? I think it was naptime for me. I didn't watch the Super Bowl that year.

Favorite frozen treat?
Anything involving Oreos and vanilla ice cream.

Favorite state fair food?
Funnel cake.

Your thoughts on clowns?
Creepy, duh.

Would your rather have participated in Legends of the Hidden Temple or GUTS?
Legends of the Hidden Temple, duh.

Sexiest body part: Feet, ears, or elbows?
Ears?

Would you have Ken Jennings' children?
No. Ken Jennings is an ass-clowning d-bag.

Toad-licking or robo-tripping?
The first one.

What are you supposed to be?

I've been practicing the funny Halloween costume for as long as I can remember. (Who else would dress up like a homeless person and make sure that it was really convincing?) Today when I stumbled upon the Vice Guide to Everything, I found that someone agrees with me. The rest of it was pretty funny / offensive, too.

"Sexy Halloween costumes are lame. They are supposed to signify the woman wearing it is a hot-to-trot sexpot, but the truth is always the opposite. It's like the girl who talks about giving head all the time and then you go home with her and it's like she's chewing on a Mars Bar. If you want to find the really "sexy" (how gross is that word?) girl, go find the one who blacked out her teeth to become Alfred E. Newman."

Not that I think I'm sexy, but I don't think Halloween should be an excuse to dress like a whore. That's called Tuesday.

Can we get some privacy in here, please?

So, you know how on MySpace you can set things to private? Your whole profile, certain blog posts, pictures. All of those things are stupid. (Yes, I know I had a private profile for a minute, and I have set blogs to private in the past. Shut up.) So, you're on this website to keep up with current friends, reunite with old friends, and make new friends, probably through other friends. And some of you are on there to stalk your exes, don't fucking lie. So, anyway, it pisses me off when people set their profiles to private because they're basically saying, I have enough friends. Which is so fucking egotistical, I can't stand it. I know there are creeps on myspace, but I don't really have to worry about that unless one of them has a beer fetish. My pictures are embarrassing to say the least, but also, extremely un-sexy.

So anyway, I click on a friend (I'm not divulging names), and then I click on some friend of theirs, and immediately click on the pictures. That's basically all I do. I mean, who has time to read all those bands and movies and shit? Not me. I skim to see if there's anything witty, but I don't have all fucking day here. So, instead of the pictures showing up, I see "user has set photos to private" or whatever it says. So, I click back to the profile page, and I see that there is a slideshow of all of their myspace pictures. What a fucking retard. If you don't want people to look at your pictures, why would you post them on your main page which is not private? Idiot.

Sometimes there's a penis.

I really did have something to write about. However, now I can't remember what that was. So until then, here's a little gem I found on this new-fangled internet business about the chocolate Jesus sculpture. It refers to the people who are upset about the fact that this depiction of Jesus is anatomically correct:

". . .(A)rt imitates life, and in life, sometimes, there’s a penis. And only in the luckiest of circumstances is the penis made of chocolate."
- Kat, pink india ink