Unravel the paper flowers 'til the colors look neat.

So, I quit smoking. Two, maybe three weeks ago, I'm not really sure. Not good at the whole "concept of time" thing. I really wish I could say that it was difficult, because that would mean I have awesome willpower, but it really wasn't hard at all. I don't crave cigarettes, I don't think about it, I don't really even care. I remember once, long ago, I bought a box of nicotine patches to help me quit. Umm, it didn't work because they made me sick. Like nausea, the shakes, et cet. Turns out I didn't smoke enough to require the use of patches, gum, and the like. Kind of sad actually. Plus, those things are expensive, shit.

Anyway, I guess the question is, why did I quit? Why now? My dad gives me disappointed looks every time he sees a pack in my car. He tells me that I'm going to die of cancer like my Uncle Steve. (Yeah, he really says that.) But that wasn't enough. I can deal with disappointing my parents, I've been doing so since I was about seven. Here's the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back: a kitten. See my sister's cat was never spayed, so when she snuck out, she got knocked up. She had FIVE kittens. Poor thing, she was gigantic. Anyway, I said I would take one of the boys. Two were going to her roommate, one to her other roommate, and one to a friend. So one went to Nashville with the friend. It died. I was so mad for awhile, I thought maybe they didn't take care of her, or something. Then we took the rest of the kittens for their first check-up. They have feline leukemia. I cried for about two days. Basically, it's like AIDS. It will eventually become active and will destroy their immune systems until they die from a disease they get because their immune systems can't fight it. If this innocent kitten can be born with something that will kill him, why am I purposefully increasing my own chances of dying? Anyway, it sounds way stupid now, but that's what it was. I'm going to keep Rocky (named after Balboa, because he's a fighter) until the virus becomes active. They can test him periodically, and I'll watch him for symptoms. He is an amazing little guy, and just so I don't end this on a completely depressing note, here are some gratuitous kitten pictures:

And I promise my next post won't be so dreary.