Damn, she's a little long-winded, huh?

So, I wrote a really long post about last weekend. But, in order to post it with any hope of someone reading the whole thing, I would have to do so in installments. So here's the highlights, which I think is a slightly more interesting format.

Got wasted off of one beer at a cook-out. Ate some food. Not so drunk anymore. Went out for girl's birthday. Paid my party's cover. There were only 3 of us so, no biggie. Drank some beer, took some jager bombs. Mingled with people. Bought birthday girl a shot. Danced (no, that's not a joke). Left the bar. Was kidnapped and driven to another bar. Had one drink. Bar closed. Started to go home, changed mind. Searched for house where friends were, and ended up walking all through the house next door. None of the tenants noticed. Found correct house. Drank some more. Had several deep convos. Had several dumb convos. Drove one friend to Waffle House at 5 or so. We ate. Drove home, slept for 2 hours. Woke up, showered, headed to brunch. Felt hungover like whoa. Like I was dying. Had a Guinness. Had a water. Ordered food. Had a Red Bull. Tried to eat food, almost vom'd. Had a Diet Coke. Had 2 free shots (vodka and unknown ingredients). Had a Bloody Mary. Told my friend about my new abbrev: bellig. She was way excited. Went to other birthday girl's house to prep for party. Took a nap instead of helping. Woke up. Downed some caffeine. Helped skewer veggies onto kebobs. Cleaned up a bit, started drinking. Met lots of new people. Ate before everyone else since I hadn't had any solids since Waffle House. Had a few more beers. Had a shot. Decided to go to sleep around 2:00 am. Walked up to spare bedroom. Went to pee in guest bathroom. Toilet was clogged. No toilet paper was left on the roll. Walked downstairs and told birthday girl that someone had clogged her toilet, and I was not fixing it. Went back upstairs, brushed teeth, washed face, lay down. Awakened at about 2:30 by a ruckus. Apparently, the downstairs toilet was clogged too. Wait no, every toilet in the house was clogged. Great. Waited for a boy to unclog the original problem toilet. Went back to sleep. Woke up at 7:30. Headed to dad's house for Father's Day breakfast. Had some coffee (nectar of the gods) and a bagel. Drove back to Knoxville and went straight to work.

There was also a lot of telling complete strangers my life story, et cet, but we don't need to get into that. Oh, and p.s., experiencing last weekend was more interesting than my shit retelling.

Edited to add: One other thing I can recall from the party Saturday night was this guy talking about how his Guitar Hero game had broken. "I can't rock out on it anymore. I remember this one time. I really rocked out on it." He also called me Kelly at some point. Don't worry though, he apologized.