If this is my future, just kill me now.

About 7:30 this morning, I was finishing up brushing my teeth. I turned my downcast eyes upwards towards my reflection, giving me a perfect view of the part in my hair. I see what looks like a really shiny strand of hair. Right at the root, it's just really shiny. I've seen it before, and in the past I've convinced myself that it was a lighter, blondish strand. However, today, curiosity got the better of me. I fish around for it, and easily find the shiny hair, since it stands out from the rest. I grasp the offending hair, move it around, comparing it with the surrounding hairs, put it in front of my hand to see contrast, basically examine the fuck out of it. Then I pluck it out. Oh my god. The first half inch is completely white. After a quick calculation, I determine that this is the amount of new growth I should have after my last haircoloring. So I have a gray hair. It's horrible. It's awful. It's the worst thing ever.

I spend all day freaking out. What am I going to do? What if there are more? What if I go completely gray? What if I don't and it's just this ugly mix of brown and gray? What if I'm prematurely elderly? What if I go through early menopause? What if I want to have a baby and can't because my eggs are all gone? What if I can, but can't even pick the kid up because I have a bad hip or arthritis, or another health problem that old people have? What if I get wrinkles? What if my boobs start sagging? Holy hell, what if I develop early-onset dementia, and forget all of this?

So, now, almost 12 hours later, I've inspected my hair three times since I got home. The last inspection just ended and it lasted a half-hour. I've pulled out two more hairs, but thankfully, neither of those were gray.

I've saved the offensive gray hair to inspect later, just in case my eyesight is failing me in my old age.