What I'm doin'.

Looking for a place to live. Like an apartment, or a warm box, or a van down by the river.

In the inimitable words of Jon Stewart.

To the guy who left 5 books sitting out for me to shelve at midnight, the raincloud that froze me half to death, the girl in my class who talks about her stupid fucking life all the time, and the douchebag who wanted to know why I don't like Sarah Palin, but got too wasted to hear my answer:

Fuck all y'all.

I don't need a weatherman.

Why I hate fall: Dry, cold weather means I actually have to moisturize.
Why I love fall: It's fall.

Apparently there aren't enough real things to annoy me.

Listen, myspace. When I log onto your terribly-addictive website, I do not want to google something. If I wanted to google something, I would probably fucking google it. But you have deemed it necessary to initially insert my cursor into the search field at the top of the page. Meaning that I have to click elsewhere on the webpage in order to scroll down with my keyboard arrows. This may seem like a minor thing, and trust me, in the grand scheme of things, it is more minor than minor. However, it's annoying to go to a website that has millions of users and have this stupid thing happen as soon as the goddamn page loads. Unfortunately, it's not enough of an annoyance to keep me away.

What I'm doin'.

Trying to figure out who did whippits off my can of hair mousse.

Realization.

I have at least 4 pickled items in my fridge: kimchee, kosher dill pickles, umeboshi, and pickled sushi ginger. Yeah, and in the past hour I've eaten some of each. As for anything else in the fridge that's pickled, it was not that way when I purchased it. . .

What I'm doin'.

Laughing every time I recall my face-wasted face-plant on Sunday night. This should not surprise or shock anyone.

What I'm doin'.

Eating ketchup-flavored potato chips dipped in ketchup. What?

Absolutely nothin'.

Sarah Plain and Tall may be right when she says that Barack's plan in Iraq is a "white flag of surrender". But I prefer it to John McCain's plan of "SOMEONE MAKE VIKKTURYS HAPPEN". I'm just sayin'. Besides, what is it good for, really?