Timeline.

Timeline. (Kind of long, but read it, it's funny.)

4:49 pm yesterday: Stuck in traffic on the way to the grocery

5:34 pm: Verbally assaulted at the liquor store by a mentally disturbed woman with road rage. (I really thought she was going to kill me.)

5:35 pm: The 911 operator hangs up on me.

5:44 pm: Her- "I hope you did call the cops, and when they get here, I'm gonna press charges against you!" Me-"I'm not talking to you."

5:56 pm: Heather arrives to pick me up from the liquor store since I won't leave the premises alone, and the lady has already left.

6:20 pm: Wine and cheese picnic at Centennial Park.

6:56 pm: The smell of a wet dog, soon followed by the smell of sewage.

8:45 pm: Enter Villager Tavern, already having consumed one full bottle of wine.

9:00 pm: One beer.

10:00 pm: Two beer.

11:00 pm: Beer three. Over the phone I read Lauren the wisdom found on the bathroom walls.

11:35 pm: Lauren shows up to meet our drunk asses.

12:17 am: Cabana. Why? Why? All I see are a bunch of drunk men old enough to be my father.

1:30 am: Please, let's go. Stop hitting on that loser gay dude, and let's go somewhere else.

2:00 am: Arrive at Broadway Brewhouse.

2:03 am: Begin playing darts.

2:06 am: Give up on darts.

2:15 am: Verbally assaulted by a mentally disturbed woman about where I should go to travel. I'm told that if I go to Paris, I'll have to wear all black. What?

2:30 am: Last call.

2:45 am: Let's get food. (Awful idea.)

3:06 am: Enjoy a grilled cheese.

3:07 am: Stop enjoying my sandwich, when I am yet again verbally assaulted for not eating meat. Heather- "Animals don't have feelings, they're here for us to eat. We're at the top of the food chain." Me- "Go grind up your dog and eat it."

3:10 am: Lauren gives me a new response for the carnivores who harrass me- "I don't eat dead animals." She says no one will question that.

3:30 am - 4:20 am: Verbally assaulted.by a mentally disturbed woman about how I don't understand about homeless people and white privilege and I basically know nothing about anything and I'm a heartless bitch. Lauren tries to referee. I start crying for a minute.

4:35 am: Dropped off at my car.

4:55 am: Arrive home, and go to sleep.

6:45 am: The alarm I set fails to go off.

7:45 am: Wake up, oh shit, my car.

7:46 am: Run outside to see if my car has been towed. It has, and I've also locked my keys in my apartment. I'm wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and haven't yet brushed my teeth.

7:50 am: I feel so sick.

8:00 am: I call to get my door unlocked. Get put on hold.

8:10 am: She takes me off hold, and says she'll page someone to open my door.

8:25 am: Still no one to unlock door.

8:43 am: Find a maintenance guy who unlocks my door.

8:52 am: Get dressed, brush teeth, hate life.

9:00 am: Call for a taxi.

9:04 am: Taxi arrives; I spill coffee on my shirt.

9:07 am: Go to ATM since I'm out of checks.

9:25 am: Arrive at Martin's Wrecker Service.

9:30 am: Restrain myself from calling the employees criminals.

9:38 am: Drive home.

9:56 am: Walk to work.

10:04 am: Arrive at work.

12:36 pm: I feel so sick.